has anyone ever wished there was a guide for relationships? maybe a referee with a rule book always in hand? there is no one there to step in and call an "annoyance" or a "below the belt comment" and give a yellow or red card to the person that performed the foul. I am not just referring to romantic relationships, but family and friend relationships as well. When a friend comes to me in need how do I know what to say? I wish there was a dictionary of problems friends could have and the appropriate responses to each. How do I not sound harsh but let them know the truth and still be soft and comforting because I really care about them? Where is the guy in the striped shirt to make the call and help me help them?
all these wondering thoughts are just a further explanation that people just want what they don't have. my hair is short now, but I want it to be long, when my hair is long I just want to cut it. I want to be in a relationship then once I am in one I constantly second guess what is going on. My friends have problems and I want to say the right things to them but then I just want them to help me. I realize this makes me sound selfish and self centered, but seriously, who isn't? There is always a place of self obsession in each and every person. The guy I am in love with has a girlfriend, the guy that's in love with me I turn away from. Why is the human brain all about second guessing? I want something to help me figure out what and who i want, and what and who is right for me. Who are my true friends? who do I trust with everything? People say that one cannot love others without loving themselves, I find it so hard to decide how truthful this is. I sometimes find myself working so hard to care fully in someone else because I cannot see the one hundred percent happiness in myself.
is everything in life an act? are we staging all relationships? At my college having solid family relationships is the accepted behavior. I do honestly have solid family relationships but how can about 4000 students ALL have great relationships with his or her family? How many of these relationships are staged? What about friends, how many people will fake being something they aren't to get in with a certain crowd? is it all a learning experience? I have no idea who I am now, who i am supposed to be in the future, or who i ever was. My view of life is like a textbook, a really long textbook. each year is a new chapter in the textbook of our lives, I constantly learn new lessons and look back, the index to my life textbook has so many different moments that can refer back to one simple lesson that I admittedly still have not learned fully. How long and how many times do I have to get hurt before I can fully learn something and it sinks in?
